For me, expectation is the biggest source of frustration. Not expectation itself. Unmet expectation. Both expectations I have of myself, that I have of others, and that others have of me.

I’m slowly learning that the key to calmness and peace is to start early, over prepare, have a backup plan, give yourself twice as much time as you need, make no apologies for the discomfort of others, and take lots of time to enjoy every little moment of the things you do get done. Read the rest of this entry »

I think I’m feeling betrayed.

The kiddo had a restless night thanks to her having a hard tine digestibg what she ate for dinner last night. Each time she woke I woke from yet another bad dream in which someone betrayed me. Usually it was in some small but significant manner. A couple of times it was something really serious. In most cases it was my mom (in Texas) betraying me. In my dream, at one point I said to her “your lack of respect for me and your unwillingness to sacrifice any of your time for my daughter means that you deserve neither of us. ” Read the rest of this entry »

tighter circles

There was a time, not too long ago, when I believed that there was simply no way anyone would want to be wrong. I certainly didn’t want to be wrong. If I held on to some incorrect assumption or false bit of information and someone more knowledgeable on the topic set me straight, I was nothing but grateful. It only made sense to me that others would want to be corrected too. And if I had any interested in a topic, then I wanted to know everything. I assumed others worked in this same fashion.

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