Archive for category the needs

Resolutions

I don’t usually bother to make New Year resolutions. As best as I can tell, I haven’t done so for at least the last three years. It has always just seemed so arbitrary to make large changes and big promises on a day that, in reality, isn’t any more important than any other. I just felt that we as a society should be able to make changes whenever we need them and that waiting for some special day to do so was just a crutch. I still think this is true, to some effect. But I’m also beginning to understand the true importance of ritual, celebration, and social unity. I am starting to realize the necessity of patterns and the importance of outward representation of inner change.

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a color unseen

Before a child understands the concept of  ”color”, explaining to them what “red” is is not possible. You must, instead, show them what red is. We simply lack the words to describe color. We can list things that are red. We can talk about feelings and ideas that share the essence of the color red. We can talk about what the color red means to us. But in the end, without seeing it, you simply can’t understand it.

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all the riches money can’t buy

They’re really not so different than us, wealthy people. You’d think with so much money and fame and fortune that their lives would be remarkably different. And on the surface they are. Everything they have is bigger, everything has nicer labels on it, and there are some problems that simply don’t exist when you have enough money to throw around. But once you get under the surface, everything else is the same.

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can you leave your window open?

outside looking in

outside looking in

I play the part well. Everything is okay. I’ve got everything under control. Not only is this easy, it’s reallllllly easy. I’m surprised that everyone doesn’t do it. On purpose even.

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postponing overwhelm

another tunnel

another tunnel

I’ve been tricking myself lately. Surprisingly, it’s been working, but I’m not sure for how much longer.

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the curse of love

one follows another

one follows another

What I want most is for myself and all of the people I have ever loved is happiness.

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awake alone

Most nights, the easiest way for both of us to get my daughter to sleep is to lay down in bed next to her. We’ll read a book, then turn out the light and sing a few songs. Then we take a deep breath and relax into sleep.

It’s so comfortable that, usually, I end up falling asleep myself. Which means that I tend to be up at odd hours of the night and for most of the morning.

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deep unrest

wandering woods

wandering woods

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Holding it Down

Looking Beyond Now

Looking Beyond Now

There is almost nothing wrong or bad in my life big enough or important enough to merit complaining about. If you know me, you know that’s huge. I have always had something going wrong, something upsetting me, or something that needs improving. Make no mistake, I still do. But none of those things are worth ruining a day over or losing sleep over or stopping the fun that I’m having in order to figure it out. I can’t even begin to explain to you how good that feels.

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