Looking Beyond Now
There is almost nothing wrong or bad in my life big enough or important enough to merit complaining about. If you know me, you know that’s huge. I have always had something going wrong, something upsetting me, or something that needs improving. Make no mistake, I still do. But none of those things are worth ruining a day over or losing sleep over or stopping the fun that I’m having in order to figure it out. I can’t even begin to explain to you how good that feels.
My only complaint, the only exception to that, is that I long for someone to sit too close to in public, to make and find silly things for, to hold hands with in the rain, and to cuddle with in the evening. I have my daughter, of course, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But it isn’t quite the same.
I’ve always been someone who had someone. It’s not that I need to be involved. It just always worked out that way. Sometimes I had more than one someone. Not in that “playing the field” sort of way. I was just always okay with finding physical comfort among close friends.
I know plenty of people I could be close to. There are even more possibilities among people that I just wish I saw more often. But, most of my good friends are married or otherwise involved. Despite most of them being fairly open people, their significant others aren’t really okay with finding them cuddling on the couch with someone else, and I would never ever consider doing anything to disturb those relationships.
Everyone else falls into that category of people that I just don’t see often enough. I’m sure that’s partly my fault, I’m just really shy and nervous around new people or new aspects to a relationship. I’m much, much better once the first move has been made.
So I guess I need to meet new people. I need to open up to the sparks of relationships that I already have going. I need to start going places where I might meet new people — kid friendly places, of course. I need to figure out where those places even are. I need to get my friends to introduce me to new people that they like, not under a “dating” premise — just under then notion of meeting new people.
An online dating site might not hurt either. What do you think of my OKCupid Profile?