A To Do List

28/365: A To Do List

To Do List

It’s really bittersweet that my To Do list actually looks like this. That, among all those other important things, I can easily, plainly spell out that terrible four letter word: divorce.

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behind every door

5/365: behind every door every door leads to a different path. but every path offers similar views.

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Resolutions

I don’t usually bother to make New Year resolutions. As best as I can tell, I haven’t done so for at least the last three years. It has always just seemed so arbitrary to make large changes and big promises on a day that, in reality, isn’t any more important than any other. I just felt that we as a society should be able to make changes whenever we need them and that waiting for some special day to do so was just a crutch. I still think this is true, to some effect. But I’m also beginning to understand the true importance of ritual, celebration, and social unity. I am starting to realize the necessity of patterns and the importance of outward representation of inner change.

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a color unseen

Before a child understands the concept of  ”color”, explaining to them what “red” is is not possible. You must, instead, show them what red is. We simply lack the words to describe color. We can list things that are red. We can talk about feelings and ideas that share the essence of the color red. We can talk about what the color red means to us. But in the end, without seeing it, you simply can’t understand it.

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all the riches money can’t buy

They’re really not so different than us, wealthy people. You’d think with so much money and fame and fortune that their lives would be remarkably different. And on the surface they are. Everything they have is bigger, everything has nicer labels on it, and there are some problems that simply don’t exist when you have enough money to throw around. But once you get under the surface, everything else is the same.

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can you leave your window open?

outside looking in

outside looking in

I play the part well. Everything is okay. I’ve got everything under control. Not only is this easy, it’s reallllllly easy. I’m surprised that everyone doesn’t do it. On purpose even.

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Pulling out the Thorn

Friday night I made a giant leap toward making life better for my daughter and I. My expectations for a specific relationship on our lives was set far too high. Not higher than they should be. Not even close. But higher than reality supported. Higher than they would meet, despite constant confirmation that they would. On top of that, I was carrying the relationship on my end as though it was what I wanted on both sides.

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on child rearing and parenting

I think our society makes raising children too difficult. The intentions are good: we all want to raise our children to be the best, healthiest, happiest children ever while still maintaining as much of ourselves as possible. But everyone has a different idea about what that means. The parenting section at any bookstore is full of titles. Aside from the very basics — you should feed your kid every now and then, etc — hardly any of them agree with one another.

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on religion

I am a deeply spiritual person yet I subscribe to no particular religion.

I have great respect and admiration for what I consider to be the core beliefs of Christianity as I see them. For instance: I believe that God is in each of us, though many of us do not realize it. I believe that God is the key to salvation and that without it there is mostly suffering. I believe that money and riches almost always corrupt. I believe we should treat others as we would be treated. I believe in acceptance. I believe in simplicity. I believe that retaliation is not the answer and that compassion earns more than aggression. I believe that the wisdom of the bible does indeed hold the secrets to everlasting life and a seat in heaven beside God. I believe that Jesus was the son of God and that he died so that we might hear his message and be saved.

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fence sitter

the pressure to change

the pressure to change

Writing proved more difficult, primarily because one had to have something to say before confronting the blank page.

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